~ Xiao Shan's Travels ~: November 2016

Saturday 5 November 2016

Yunomori Onsen & Spa Singapore

I was totally ecstatic when I heard that there was an onsen opened in Singapore. Reason being Singapore's culture is still conservative whereby people here could accept the fact of being naked while soaking in a public pool (though onsen is a separate indoor pool for men, and women).

I must admit that I felt the same when I had my first hot spring experience in Korea. My tour leader went naked, and she was so natural about it while the rest of us were trying to wrap ourselves with this mini face towel provided. I tried to maintain eye contact with my other tour-mates, and kept reminding myself not to accidentally look at them in other direction. That was the most awkward moment of my life, seriously.

I'm so glad to have an onsen kaki here. *smiles* Since I wanted to be one of the first visitors of the day, I reached at about 10am plus.

The first thing you do is to put your shoes in the locker provided before entering the reception. No shoe wears are allowed.

The cozy reception area

Once you have selected your package either onsen, onsen with spa or just spa, the staffs will be collecting your shoe locker's key. In exchange, you will be given another locker's key for your clothes.

Right outside the changing room is a small counter where you get your bath towels, yukata, and disposable panties & bras if you feel uncomfortable soaking naked. You will be given a shower cap as well as sometimes our hairs might contaminate the hot spring water.

If you have no idea how to put on the yukata, just get help from the staffs. They will be more than happy to assist you.

Please refer to Yunomori's bathing etiquette before you proceed. You may also view it on their website here.

**Note that no photography is allowed inside the onsen. Below pictures are taken from Yunomori's website.

I love the onsen as it is totally the same just like when I was in Korea, and Taiwan. Do shower up before soaking in the pools. The shampoo, and shower gel are so good that my hairs smelt like jasmine (different set has different flavours) for the next few days. I guess these are from their spa range.

There are several baths to choose from:

- Bubble Bath
- Soda Bath
- Jet Bath
- Silk Bath
- Cold Bath
- Hot Bath
- Sauna
- Steam Room

We started from the right with the lowest water temperature. Your body needs to adapt slowly or you will be scalded. We could not stay for even 5 minutes in the cold bath as it was just too cold! We soaked for about 10 minutes in each bath. Overall, we spent around an hour or so. If you feel like fainting (this is what happens when you soaked for too long), just get out from the pool, and rest for a while.

Once we have showered, we proceeded to the cafe for lunch.

Yunomori Onsen & Spa Singapore
1 Stadium Place, #02-17/18 Kallang Wave Mall, Singapore 397628
+65 6386 4126 / 6385 7985 | info@yunomorionsen.com.sg
http://www.yunomorionsen.com/2015/sg/index.php
Operating Hours: 10am to 11pm daily

**Exact location is at Kallang Wave Mall, the retail section of Singapore Sports Hub

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Amazing Quotes

The world is a book and those who do not travel, read only a page. ~ St. Augustine

I learnt in high school that when a butterfly is struggling to get out of the cocoon and you cut the cocoon to help it out, the butterfly dies.

You have to let the butterfly struggle, because the struggle forces the blood into the wings, so they can spread them and fly. The same goes for us.

The struggle we go through is necessary to make us strong enough to soar through life. ~ Kerwin Rae

The next time you see someone enjoying something, that isn’t hurting anyone, that’s not your cup of tea instead of saying something negative, train yourself to think to yourself “I’m glad they are happy” and carry on with your life.

You wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it has grown. So why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work and your decisions? Have patience, stop overthinking and keep watering your seeds.

Too many people think the grass is greener somewhere else but the grass is green when you water it. Remember that.

If we could see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything.

You never get over it, but you get to where it doesn't bother you so much. ~ Jeffrey Eugenides

Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. ~ Lao Tzu

Today, I read something that said "Someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves." And I felt that.

I want to say thank you to the rare few individuals in my life who have listened without judgement, spoken without prejudice, helped me without entitlement, understood without pretension and loved me without conditions.

God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put his arms around you and whispered, "Come to me." A golden heart stopped beating, hardworking hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best.

A guy in class got called on to answer a question and after a short pause he says "Hang on, I'm not dumb, I'm just panicking." I felt that. The guy next to me felt that. Your Mum felt that. The world felt that. ~ Carson Braun

The black sheep is sometimes the only one telling the truth.

Good Bones ~ Maggie Smith

Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children.

For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you, though I keep this from my children.

I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor, walking you through a real shithole, chirps on about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.

**
Be with someone who falls in love with the way you have freckle on your finger, the way you bite your lip before you burst into laughter, the way you scribble on old crumpled receipts, or how you scoot closer to them during the winter.

Be with someone who listens to your childhood stories you have told them five times, because they know how happy it makes you so they still laugh at the funny parts, and hold you while you cry at the bad ones.

Be with someone who goes out of their way to make you happy with random kisses, hugs from behind, buying your favourite snacks, and putting up with your bad moods. Fall in love with someone who cherishes the smallest parts of who you are, because that's what makes you, you.
**

Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well. ~ Jack London

Travel is a chance for you to know about yourself and the person next to you better.

The path isn't a straight line; it's a spiral. You continually come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths.

I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic, your playlist makes you dance, strangers make you smile, and the night sky touches your soul. I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive. ~ Brooke Hampton

Do you think you have a choice in loving someone? The answer will always be .. no. Your soul picks who you love and your heart seals the deal. How little a choice we have over such things when your heart knows what it wants and your soul knows when it's real. ~ N.R. Hart

Always choose to heal, not to hurt. To forgive, not to despise. To persevere, not to quit. To smile, not to frown. And to love, not to hate.

Travelling alone will be the scariest, most liberating, life changing experience of your life. Try it at least once.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you have been taking. ~ Earl Wilson

Life's tragedy is we get old too soon and wise too late. ~ Benjamin Franklin

"Who am I, you ask? I am made from all the people I've encountered and all the things I have experienced. Inside, I hold the laughter of my friends, the arguments with my parents, the chattering of young children, and the warmth from kind strangers. Inside, there are stitchings from cracked hearts, bitter words from heated arguments, music that gets me through, and emotions I cannot convey. I am made from all these people and moments. That is who I am." ~ Ming D. Liu.

You deserve a love so big, it dims the sky and sets fire to the stars. A love so expansive, it weaves constellations so you never forget who you are. ~ Pavana

Shine. For you are light and wonder. For there are galaxies within you and stardust dances in your soul. Stars live in your eyes, and glory and grace live in your bones. You are beautiful. You are light and wonder. You Shine. ~ g.c.

Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.

Pratise the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you're about to react harshly and you'll avoid doing and saying things you'll later regret. ~ Lori Deschene

Between what is said and not meant. And what is meant and not said. Most of love is lost. ~ Khalil Gibran

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. ~ Henry David Thoreau

If you're rejected ~ ACCEPT.
If you feel unloved ~ LET GO.
If they choose someone or something over you ~ MOVE ON.
REMEMBER THAT : In every NO from someone is a YES to someone better.

Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining. ~ Anne Lamott

Instead of resisting to changes, surrender. Let life be with you, not against you. If you think 'My life will be upside down' don't worry. How do you know down is not better than upside? ~ Shams Tabrizi

Let us feed the hungry, house the homeless, stop the killing, and provide medicine for the sick. When we have accomplished that, we can sit around and argue about religion.

They say you die twice. Once when you stop breathing, and the second, a bit later on, when somebody mentions your name for the last time.

Never believe the lines on your hands that predict your future. Because people who don't have hands also have future. Believe in yourself.

It's okay for you to believe what you believe. It is not okay however, for you to insist that everyone else believe the same as you.

The things we take for granted someone else is praying for.

Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

There are those who look beautiful, and then there are those who are.

I love places that make you realise how tiny you, and your problems are.

Expecting all children the same age to learn from the same materials is like expecting all children the same age to wear the same size clothing. ~ Madeline Hunter

**
He loved quietly. Love was making sure his wife's car tires were aired up, and in good condition. It was holding her tightly and stroking her hair when things fell apart. Love was the way he'd look at her, shake his head and say "How did I get so damn lucky?" He loved by checking for monsters under his kids' beds, those nights when they were scared. By spending evenings helping with homework, and reading bedtime stories, when he'd rather be relaxing on the couch, having a beer and watching TV.

Love gave him strength for the extra weekend work he did so they could afford to go on vacation. And all those come-ons from the cute girl at work that he ignored - that was love too. He wasn't good with words, and didn't put his love on display loudly, but it was there. Quiet, steady, and true. It showed in the things which he did, and didn't do. ~ John Mark Green
**

When you choose a life partner, you're choosing a lot of things including your parenting partner, and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you will hear about 18,000 times.

The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death. ~ Osho

I choose to make the rest of my life, the best of my life. ~ Louise Hay

To be a champion, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.

People who judge you by your past don't belong in your present. ~ Mandy Hale

Maybe you are searching among the branches, for what only appears in the roots. ~ Rumi

You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic. ~ Alice in Wonderland

Gossip dies when it hits a wise person's ears.

You fell in love with my flowers, but not my roots. So when autumn came, you didn't know what to do.

**
Marriage is not beautiful. Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone. You see them when they're mad, sad, being stubborn, when they're so unlovable they make you scream. But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their face, and they can't help but let out those weird gargling noises.

You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you're eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it's not always pretty. It's snorting while laughing, it's the tears when it feels like it's all crashing down, it's the farting, it's the bedhead and bad breath, it's the random dances, it's the anger and the joy.

Marriage isn't a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It's knowing that someone loves you so much, and won't leave you even though you said something nasty. It's having someone have your back no matter what. It's fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it's those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough with them.

It's cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they're sick. It's the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is. Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know. Marriage is not beautiful, but it's one heaven of a ride.
**

The more helpless the creature the more that it is entitled to protection by man from the cruelty of man. ~ Mahatma Ghandi

Live a good life. If there are Gods, and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are Gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no Gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. ~ Marcus Aurelius

When a child gives you a gift, even if it is a rock they just picked up, exude gratitude. It might be the only thing they have to give, and they have chosen to give it to you.

If people are doubting how far you'll go, go so far that you can't hear them anymore.

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's "supposed" to be.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops are dirty, the ocean does not dirty. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere.. and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.

Life is very complicated. Don't try to find answers because when you find answers, life changes the questions.

Sometimes, it's okay if the only thing you did today was to breathe.

Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life.

Believe in nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it. Unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. ~ Buddha

Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so that you will discover that he is the rock at the bottom.

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

Pray to God even after he gives you what you were praying for.

Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you're at your worst.

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question. ~ Harun Yahya

Sometimes, you need to talk to a two year old just so you can understand life again.

Sometimes in life, things get messed up. People over-think, over-analyze, and assume. It's human nature though. We aren't perfect, and I'm learning this more and more each day. Everybody's beautiful, everybody's flawed, and everybody deserves second chances. I don't care what you did, how bad you did it or anything. Sometimes we just weren't ready to make it right the first time. We're only human, remember that.

Become friends with people who aren't your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn't the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn't come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.

Don't be afraid to walk alone. Don't be afraid to like it.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." ~ John Lennon

It feels good to be lost in the right direction.

Never regret anything because at one time... it was exactly what you wanted.

You'll end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.

Travel is the only investment with guaranteed returns. ~ Franz Wisner

When someone does something wrong, don't forget the things they did right.

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

What forgiveness is? Sufi replied: It's the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed.

When you can tell your story and it doesn't make you cry, you know you have healed.

I learned to GIVE not because I have many, but because I know exactly how it feels to have NOTHING.

Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It's ordinary to love the beautiful, but it's beautiful to love the ordinary.

I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go of, it's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth is to have something halfway is harder than having nothing at all.

Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will either say, "I wish I had," or "I'm glad I did." ~ Zig Ziglar

When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars.

In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?" ~ Buddha

The Bad News: There is no key to happiness.
The Good News: It isn't locked.

Go at least once a year to a place you have never been before.

Man asked God, "Give me everything to enjoy life." God replied, "I have given you LIFE to enjoy everything."

If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you will have nothing to smile about when you're old.

Enjoy your youth. You'll never be younger than you are at this very moment.

I don't want to be in the right place at the right time. I want to be in the right place for a lifetime.

I'm in love with places I've never been to and people I've never met.

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave and grow old wanting to get back to. ~ John Ed Pearce

The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday.

It's about love. It's about compassion. It's about kindness and faith. It has nothing to do with luck. You get what you give so give good.

The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But because of the silence of good people.

Life will keep bringing you the same test, over and over again, until you pass it.

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you.

No one is born with hatred or intolerance. No one is born hating another person because the colour of his skin, his background or religion. People must learn, to hate. If they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love; for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. ~ Nelson Mandela

Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.

Travel is still the most intense mode of learning. ~ Kevin Kelly

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. ~ Oscar Wilde

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.

Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you're in trouble, because that reason can be taken away from you.

When was the last time, you did something for the first time?

For every photograph taken, there is one less memory forgotten.

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

I would rather own little and see the world, than own the world and see little of it. ~ Alexander Sattler

You have to taste a culture to understand it. ~ Deborah Cater

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Someone once asked me, "Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?" I replied, "Why do you assume I see two roads?"

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. ~ John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

He died that day because his body had served its purpose. His soul had done what it came to do, learned what it came to learn, and then was free to leave. ~ Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

The best moments I once lived are the ones I absolutely forgot to take pictures of.

Most of the problems in life are because of two reasons: we act without thinking or we keep thinking without acting.

Don't believe everything you hear. There are always three sides to a story. Yours, theirs, and the truth.

No one comes with a "Clear History" button, so you have to accept their past.

Every Saint has a past and every Sinner has a future.

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes, you can't see the pain that someone feels.

Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them. ~ Dalai Lama

Love means different things to different people - just because you don't understand another person's relationship doesn't mean it is wrong.

Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what happened and continue living.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It's only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt, over-think and hesitate.

When you have to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air.. You suddenly know what you're hoping for.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost

The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wanted doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

When you're young, you want to do everything together. When you're older, you want to go everywhere together. When you had been everywhere and done everything, all that really matters is that you're together.

Love the people God gave you because He will need them back one day.

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.

You will only begin to heal when you let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you; and learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Butterflies don't know the colour of their wing, but humans know how beautiful it is. You don't know how good you are, but others can see.

Being in pain is not the hardest thing in life. The hardest thing in life is trying to hide it. ~ Jim Carrey

The old believe everything. The middle aged suspect everything. The young know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde

In life, we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. ~ Diego Marchi

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want. ~ Oscar Wilde

If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid. ~ Albert Einstein

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.

Whenever you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. ~ Thomas Paine

Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our children. Why doesn't anyone try to leave better children for our planet?

Listen to your elders' advice not because they are always right but because they have more experiences of being wrong.

On this road called life, you have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never forget. People change. Things go wrong. But just remember, the ride goes on.

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down. ~ Natalie Goldberg

My Father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.

Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.

What if after you die, God asks you: "So, how was heaven?"

He asked, "Are you Hindu or Muslim?"
Response came, "I'm hungry, sir."

Man and God met somewhere; both exclaimed, "My creator!"

Those who had coins, enjoyed in the rain. Those who had notes were busy looking for a shelter.

The hungry innocent didn't even get the bread. But, that picture was sold in millions in which that boy was sad.

Once the travel bug bites, there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected for the rest of my life. ~ Michael Palin

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be? ~ Danielle Laporte

When you are a giraffe and you receive criticism from turtles, they are reporting the view from the level they are on. ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes

If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends. If an egg is broken by an inside force, then life begins. Great things happen from the inside.

You may not be where you want, but you can look back and thank God you are not where you used to be.

***
A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.

Her Mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile: "My sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?"

The girl looked up at her Mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.

The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.

Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum, and said: Mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.

No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement. Give others the privilege to explain themselves.

What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.

Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.

Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded, but because they value friendship above money.

Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.

Those who apologize first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.

Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.

One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had. Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare...

One day our children will see our pictures and ask "Who are these people? "And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: "IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH" | Fashion Illustrator By @Peniel_Enchill

***

I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.

I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents...

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float.

You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart.

When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare.

You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too.

If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

***

有些痛，忍忍就过了，有些麻烦，忍忍就解决了，有些话，忍忍就不想说了，有些爱，忍忍就不想爱了，有些人，忍忍就不想等了。

没有一个100分的情人，只有50分的两个人.

吃别人所不能吃的苦，
忍别人所不能忍的气，
做别人所不能做的事，
就能享受别人所不能享受的一切。

婚姻不是生活一輩子不吵架而是吵架了還能生活一輩子。

一生有多长，
长不过永恒。
天地有多大，
大不过心量。
学问有多高，
高不过智慧。
口才有多好，
好不过真理。
外表有多美，
美不过善良。

昨天，略去。
今天，珍惜。
明天，争取。
对的，坚持。
错的，放弃。

痛：不一定要說出來，
哭：不一定傷心事，
笑：不一定很快樂,
沉默：不一定無所謂,
離開：不一定很瀟灑,
幸福：不一定沒傷過

放不下，就揹著。
看不開，就記著。
捨不得，就留著。
有一天
揹不動了，就放下了。
記不住了，就看開了。
留不住了，就捨得了。

他向她求婚時，只說了三個字：相信我；
她為他生下第一個女兒的時候，他對她說：辛苦了；
女兒出嫁那天，他摟著她的肩說：還有我；
他到她病危的那天，重複的對她說：我在這；
她要走的那一刻，他親吻她的額頭輕聲說：你等我。
這一生，他沒有對她說過一次“我愛你”，但愛.......從未離開過。